The drop down with dizzying speed over the surface of the glass. He still jets and water jets. I take the cup, and it crashed into the wall. We have hit bottom. We have said enough. My head has clicked, and when my right mind warning me that way, it's time to take action.
I have already talked about my pain. That tenant that October night decided to camp under my right rib, and here is ... the hassle of my gums ... anyway, my stuff. Summarized. First I went to the dentist to examine my mouth. No trace of dirt, the wheels in good condition, and gums apparently healthy. Suddenly, the dentist asks me if I've gone through a stressful time ...
next day and discard, I went to the specialist gastroenterology. I underwent a colonoscopy, it is amazing to see your insides live, amazing and disgusting. Finally, after comparing the other tests and so on, the conclusion of my pain is as follows. My ascending colon spasms and it hurts. These spasms come "from my little organic waste, organic waste and those few come from the nerves. Stress. Everything comes from the same site. In other circumstances, I would say that none of them knows that happens, you know, as doctors find nothing, then wash their hands assigning guilt to the nerves. "Will the nerves "....
But this time they're right. And took three months. Just as long as I have been working in the new company. A difficult spot, where most partners are engineers (except me). A position that required a very specific training. My training was sit in that chair and Get a Life. And those still looking for internet mathematical formulas to develop budgets, lowering operating system manuals for the company, defended the company's product to customers without having controlled the product .... in short, that every day is a odyssey. I'm painting, which seems to work NASA,,,, but almost. To make matters worse the company is located in the middle of nowhere. 40 km from my house, where there is no life at 7 miles (no kidding). He arrived by bus companies, and until five do not leave "Alcatraz."
Since childhood I suffered when I have not had the situation under control. I have spent many hours on the street, and that makes you be in a constant state of alert. All situations that have escaped from my hands have made me feel naked, unprotected .... No I have controlled a situation creates a state of anxiety that makes me vulnerable. I have been since forever ... I remember as a teenager when I started dating girls, when I really started to like it disappeared. I dreaded the idea of \u200b\u200bfalling in love and not rely on my head. Leave the situation in the hands of heart was a suicide. In class, teachers dizzy questions. I had to understand everything. Hit me in the street until all hours of chatter with the beggars, I explained it had to end this way. I needed answers to everything that had happened to not end well. To this day I still have nightmares about those stories of beggars. When I stopped smoking, the first thing I did was buy a pack of snuff, and put it in a drawer. He did not smoke, but went to all the sites that package of snuff. If I forgot to pack back home of their own to find it. Feeling that I pack in my pocket to control the situation, and so got quit.
me now that situation is taking its toll. With this "disorder", my work has become the worst place to survive. Living day to day eight hours where I am overwhelmed by the situation, I have created a state of anxiety that has unleashed a pain, and I want to meet me.
need to learn to use "my arms." Learning to focus my personality so that things do not affect me much. I need to find those rays of light resting on the fog, but just do not know. I need help .... tomorrow I have my first appointment with the psychologist. The first step into the light. Start my escape from Alcatraz.
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