Spring 2001. Eighteen years my identity card. A beautiful Saturday afternoon, and a whole night of partying ahead. Santi got home on time. We expected a meeting of "the beatles, weezer, stereophonics and Lemonheads, while we filled the beer belly, and filosofábamos about life, and how much we would like to change the world ... In the end the thing always ended alike. At eleven o'clock that night the sister of Santi missed us home sick of our bullshit, and finished with the rest of the gang's den in den until the hated sun came out Sunday.
that afternoon was different. Santi's sister got angry because she was tired of the room we occupied. So I was not idle, sat on the sofa next to shave their legs.
- Do not hurt?
"Not anymore. I'm used to. There are those who, if it hurts, and makes blade, but with the waxing removes the hair from the root and takes much longer to go.
That clarification was that the bulb of the "Michael" enlighten me once again cabeza. Recordé mi piel irritada tras cada afeitado. Y aquel bote con mejunje verde podría ahorrarme muchos días de irritación.
En cuanto su hermana se encerró en su habitación le pregunté a Santi si podía usar la cera de su hermana.
-Claro. Además te tardará más en salir. Ya has oído a mi hermana.- Santi tampoco tenía los cuatro dedos de frente que me faltaban a mí. En aquella época se estaba dejando perilla, y se salvó de la tragedia por los pelos.
Pusimos a calentar la cera, y en cuanto la casa comenzó a oler a Semana Santa, me unté la cera por mi bigotito de cuatro días. Esa textura pegajosa se acomodó en la parte superior de mi labio, y I calmly took the world my beer. Santi
"Hey, how long must I have this here?, I just noticed the mustache petrified.
I do not know, expected to ask my sister .- Santi, with all the parsimony of the world was lost by the end of the corridor. Elena
shot out of the room, also a Sergio such that no one was inside.
- But you did
-Put on wax mustache. Do you know how bad it happened when I shave?
tried to shoot, but I was dying of pain. To top it off the turntable hoarse blaring the "help" by the Beatles. I could hardly move my mouth. A huge piece green plastic had invaded my face was already part of me, as an elbow, arm, or an eyebrow. I thought the rest of my life with it tucked under my nostrils, and the truth ... the future looked very black. Santi decided to call his neighbor. An older woman with remedies for everything. Mrs. embedded in a robe, in socks and scowling because he annoyed the "pink sauce", stood before me and had to lift between all the ground. The laughter made me lose balance. He tried to throw a couple of times but nothing, was useless. The pain and fear to disfigure my face made us to think about Plan B. The plan B came from Sam, that does not give us any hope. But it was worse to live with an alien in my nose all my life. When Sam opened his mouth, and began to talk of burning the alcohol plastic to melt, immediately abort the plan B, and gave way to plan C: Run to the emergency.
Santi and I got into a taxi at the speed of lightning. We went down the windows and ... Shit! had no handkerchief. We returned to close the windows. And so we told the taxi driver where we wanted to go. The driver kept looking at me from the mirror.
-Si. I've done the mustache wax and I'm going to the emergency room I have it removed.
The driver started laughing so loud. Too scandalous. I saw two tears down down her cheek. Santi tried to hold back the laughter, but it was useless.
At last we reached the hospital. And of course, before you see the doctor, is a plump woman who sticks her head through a window, which you have to tell you what happens.
- What happens?
After explaining what had happened and the subsequent laughter, he told me to wait in the living room, call me right away. And then they called me. I entered one of the boxes, and there were Santi, my alien and I against the doctor.
"Do not try doctor, can laugh at home. The doctor did
case and touched off steam after my "alien."
- Phew. To see how the hell you take off this kid.
- Is not it possible to put a knife between wax and skin, and cut only the hair? - Santi said the most serious face in the world.
"I'll shoot.
I grabbed the chair and tried to think of the beautiful in the world: the beach, summer nights in bed with the window open, Lennon discs, spring and flowers and suddenly .... I saw the stars, and my knowledge was about to go for a walk. The pain was unbearable. But in the end it was all over.
"No way.
- it's still here - The touch of my hand I said yes. The world fell on me. He was about to lose nerves. Santi thought my skin now split into an operating room, and put points later, after removing the alien. Every bit as serious as before.
The box was filled with nurses, laughter and the night turned into a surreal debate about how to remove the wax from my face. Suddenly there appeared a huge medical. All have turned away. His face a bulldog. His arms and terribly hairy male. The Hall lost his voice. That great lady instilled a respect that bordered on panic.
-Sit, and be gone. Stare at that picture.
- Which one? -
The world exploded in a blink of an eye. I felt the skin after the wax flying. And the blood stained red my cowboy. My cry rang for hours at the hospital. The door was filled with onlookers. The doctor came in silence, without saying a peep .
"Uncle, is raw. Hagaf
"I do not speak Fanti," I said as I could.
"The one you busy.
So I left that hospital, and was to remember the greatest "Michael" in my life. Yes, the mustache was over a month out.
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